I was outside gardening when I saw this very enormous black demonic cloud in the air, down near the beach. I shouted to my family "come on we need to get out of here!" We got in the car and drove off, but as soon as we left I saw pyroclastic surge at the speed of lighting running across the beach coming on to land. My family thought that this was the worlds ending but I said no it's just the magma beneath the crust was melting the crust too much it caused it to burst out that's why this is happening. We got to the top of Mt wellington and watched as the pyroclastic surge cover the land like a black blanket . Time went past and the blanket started to fade, the land was covered in black ashes like a bunch of lice on a sofa. As we stood we saw a new island form not to far away from the beach but just enough for us to see. The new island was made of cooled lava and it was black. The city was ruined and as we stood from the moutain hearing a lot of sirens and a lot of crying.
Hi Stanley, here's your point score!
ReplyDeleteYou correctly used (for 3 points each):
pyroclastic surge
magma
crust
ash
island
lava
There are so many features of writing in here that I love; a 'demonic' black cloud, your use of speech (although you forgot a few " " around "no it's just the magma etc...") and how you used similes comparing parts of the eruption to 'lice on a sofa' or 'like a black blanket.' I'm going to add 8 extra points for creativity!
You didn't lose any points for sentences not making sense or for forgetting any capital letters at the start of sentences.
So your total score was 26!
I really liked how you identified the process happening under the ground with the crust melting and magma rising and bursting out onto the surface as lava; you could have slipped in a few extra scientific words by explaining that this happening is called a 'hotspot' and Auckland is on top of one. The crust melts because of a 'thermal plume' in the 'mantle' hitting the bottom of it and melting it.
Thanks for sharing your story :) I enjoyed reading it.
Hi Stanley.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you used the correct words you have been learning in your story. It makes it easy to understand the words.
Does a pyroclastic surge really move at the speed of lightening? That is so fast.
Miss Ferguson